This moment

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. Pause, savor, remember.

Cooking Through Grief and Worry and Frustration and ...

Last week was not easy. I went to the memorial service of a man who was like a second father to me — my childhood best friend's father. While he lived a wonderful full life, dying only three weeks after he was out dancing with his wife of 63 years and at the age of 87, it's still, as everyone knows who has suffered this kind of loss, gut wrenching.

Last week is also when our granddaughter was diagnosed with MRSA. MRSA, if you don't know, is a fairly — no very — scary antibiotic-resistant form of staph. Of course Rachel and John have pulled out all the stops. (You can read about it in Rachel's blog.) But they're 3,000 miles away and I can't do a damn thing to help other than read things about MRSA online (I would not recommend this as a plan by the way) and try very hard not to freak out.

So in between just feeling sad and hyperventilating, I did one of the things I do when I'm trying to work through emotions. I cooked.

I made mookies (recipe here)


And roasted vegetable soup


And a quiche


and banana chocolate chip oatmeal cookies


(Oh and I also put a coat of paint on a display case I'm redoing and knit. So yea, I was a little manic.)

The cooking made me feel a little better, though. As I diced and mixed and stirred and spiced, I felt as if things were normal. I was making good food for someone I love, food that would nurture him literally and emotionally, and for at least those moments life's uncontrollable moments were held at bay. It may not be for long, but I'll take it.

Banana Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

ingredients
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup (! 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup mashed ripe banana
1 cup rolled oats
8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cups chopped walnuts

method
Heat oven to 375 degrees.
Mix together the butter and sugars in a large bowl and beat until light and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla and mix until combined. Mix in the banana. Add the flour, salt and baking soda and mix until just combined. Add the oats, chocolate chips and walnuts.

Place on a baking sheet. Bake 12-13 minutes until golden brown. Cool on wire racks.

We Give Thanks

As the holiday season kicks off tomorrow with a turkey-induced food coma, we thought we'd take a moment to sit back and count our blessings. When we started LTIR almost two years ago (!), we weren't sure anyone other than our family and friends would read Rachel's and my individual and collective journies through food and life. Turns out people actually will and do, and we thank you. It is wonderful to have someone else respond to something we've written with a memory or recipe tip of their own, or to just say that what we wrote resonated somehow.

On a personal note, I remain awestruck by the wonder of the divine Miss M and how this newest addition to the clan continues to rock my world (even from a ridiculous 3,000 miles away, something I am decidedly NOT thankful for, but I will leave that for another post). She has centered me in ways I never even imagined possible and has helped provide me with a compass for further directing my life and that of my family's. And she did all of this before she even began to talk one word. Amazing.

I am thankful for my absolutely wonderful husband, Peter, who continues to surprise me even after 30 years and who makes me laugh more than anyone I know. He gives me space to grow and continually tries to grow with me. It is a full life of wonder with him.

And my children are on their own now. I marvel at who they are and who they are becoming, and feel thankful I can hang onto the coattails for the ride. In some ways they are exactly who I thought they'd be and yet completely different in ways I would never have imagined. I love that.

I am a lucky woman for my many friends, and feel especially thankful for the tribe of women I've met in my landing in Albany. (You know who you are.) The growth I've experienced with them has been a happy, happy serendipitous (fateful?) plus to a job that I generally love.

Family, friends, health — on the one hand, it's a thankful list that seems cliched, and yet it is really what life boils down to at the end. So thank you all.

-Janet

So, last year my mom and I endeavored a joint post of thanks, too. I kicked it off last year and she ended up chiming in and saying she had nothing to add. And now here I am with the exact same sentiments. Lovely, lovely words, Ma.

May you all have full bellies and hearts.

XO
R.

An Unexpected Dividend

Janet here.

For the first time in a year, everyone is home. The holidays are over and while a number of people are still calling for command visits by or to Miss M and Rachel, in between our family is grabbing moments together. The "Just Us" has changed forever of course, as it absolutely should. But I am enjoying watching our children engage and reconnect — over a game of Monopoly, in a video game face-off and just sitting by the fire bantering.

We had a little unexpected moment tonight because we had Rachel all to ourselves. G and S were headed to a basketball game and M was in bed so dinner was the three of us. I lit candles in the dining room and made a tasty dish from Rachael Ray's new cookbook, Look + Cook, which I've been planning to try for a while. It was tasty but I think I will always remember it because the three of us had a brief moment together again of just being. And then Miss M called :)

Chicken Cutlets Brasciole
serves 4 (I reduced everything a bit to make it for 3, using 3 chicken breasts)

ingredients
1/2 cup very hot tap water
handful of golden raisins (I didn't have any so I used five prunes)
1/4 cup pine nuts
1 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
1 tablespoon grated lemon zest (I forgot this and it was still tasty)
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
3 slices white bread, torn into pieces
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (EVOO in Rachael speak)
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup dry white wine
2 cups tomato sauce
2 tablespoons fresh tarragon leaves, chopped (I used dried and about a teaspoon)

method
Put the raisins in very hot tap water. Lightly toast the pine nuts in a small dry skillet over medium low heat. Watch them so they don't burn. Set them aside to cool. Place the parsley, lemon zest, garlic, bread, cheese, raisins and nuts into a food processor and pulse into a stuffing.

Butterfly the chicken by cutting into and across the breast, but not all the way through. It opens like a book after that. Pound out the cutlets and season with salt and pepper. Fill the breasts with the stuffing, roll and secure with toothpicks.

Heat the EVOO and butter in a large skillet over medium-heat. Brown the chicken all over for 7-8 minutes. Then remove from the pan and deglaze the pan with the wine. Scrape up the drippings, stir in the tomato sauce and tarragon and return the chicken to the pan. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until cooked through. Slice and serve. As Rachael would say, "Delish."

A Random Assortment

Hey Ma-

Ok, so Susan has long been one of my heros, but after reading her recipe yesterday she somehow gained even higher stature. Remember when she got up from the dinner table, walked into the kitchen, opened the pantry, dug through the trash only to march into the dining room with the empty Cool Whip container held high over her head as she joyously proclaimed, "Ah-HA! I KNEW IT!"? If only you'd known then that she was the queen of culinary shortcuts. If only...I'm not knocking shortcuts, just admiring Susan for her endless hutzpah.

Anyway, completely unrelated...but you know, what I'm going to write about anyway...are two other food things.

First, in red white and Rachel fashion (do you remember the tv show the OC? yeah, I stole that joke from seth cohen from that show...and, incase you've never seen it, yes that is EMBARRASSING to admit), I immediately began reorganizing our entire house the second school was out for the semester. M's room is done and ours is most of the way there, but the kitchen--which isn't getting reorganized--has become the landing place for all of our things which are currently roomless. That meant burritos for dinner last night and tonight we're noshing on sausage. I'm pretty sure I don't need to share my recipe for incredible sausage cooking...

The second thing is that we're getting ready to come and see you. In true type-A fashion I've been neurotically considering everything M could ever possibly need on a plane, including provisions for the 3 day snow-in that I've decided (at your urging...ahem) to prepare for that will occur where our layover is. Needless to say, this doesn't include the homemade food we've been giving her.

And so now we're going jarred food and she's not particularly into it. I find myself feeling frustrated at the need to bring unopened jars through airport security, feeling overly regulated. I find myself thinking that food is such a site of control in our society, from its marketing to its very calculated revulsions (for instance, I'm pretty sure I didn't just decide one day never to eat produce grown with pesticides, but that that idea was marketed to me...egads, the infiltration is so subtle) to disordered eating. I've been thinking and thinking on this lately, turning it around in my brain. There's been no dramatic conclusion to this consideration, but I figured I'd share it today anyway. What do you all think?

Anyway, speaking of food, off to that delicious sausage...

XXOO
-R

Sleet? Soup!

Hey Rachel

Oh, I feel your pain. That whole everyone-is-sick deal is absolutely awful, because of course as the parent — wait, I am going to amend that to as the mother — you don't actually get to be sick. Ever. Even when you are the only person in the house who aches and is throwing up, you still have to perform, especially when your children are the size of Miss M.

Remember that time when at least two of you and I had a stomach bug at the same time? I don't want to go into too many details or no one will want to read the rest of this food blog (and I have a delicious recipe coming), but it was grim. We'll just leave it at that and let everyone imagine their own nightmare. I do remember looking at the clock and wondering why the minute hand was not moving. Peter, I was sure, was never actually going to come home from work and I would be lying on that floor with you and G until we passed on. I was obviously delirious.

But soup is perfect for colds. It's also perfect for cold weather, which is what prompted me to create this wonderful soup I really recommend. I was inspired by some soup I had in our company cafeteria last week. They called it Baja Soup and it was definitely Mexican in its influences. My version isn't exactly the same, but it is damn tasty. I encourage you to make it when you are all feeling better.

Mexican Soup
serves at least 6

ingredients
2 skinless chicken breasts, chopped into bite size pieces
1 onion, chopped
2 cans petite cut diced tomatoes with jalapenos
1 15 ounce can black beans, rinsed
about 1 cup of frozen corn
1-2 teaspoons chili powder
salt and pepper to taste
red pepper flakes to taste
16 ounces or so of vegetable or chicken broth


method
Saute the onion in a couple tablespoons of oil. After a couple of minutes, when they are just beginning to get translucent, add the chicken and spices. Cook until the chicken is just done, stirring frequently.

In a large stock pot, add the tomatoes, broth, black beans and corn. When the chicken and onion mix is done, add to the pot and adjust the amount of liquid to suit your soup tastes. I like my soups thicker, but you might like yours brothier. Adjust seasoning as well. Serve with some good bread and cheese, and you're good to go.