We're doing a joint post today in honor of S's 19th birthday. S was home last week for spring break from college, so there were plenty of food requests on his part. "Will you make that dank macaroni and cheese with blue cheese and bacon you made Dad and G?" he asked. "And will you make my birthday cake?"
The answer, of course, was yes. My days of making our children's birthday cakes (or ice cream pies in our case) and special meals are dwindling. And it makes me just a little sad. The last 26 years of my life have circled around our children, seeing to their needs, helping them grow, watching them take flight and sometimes fall. They have been the earth to my moon, steady in their place as I revolved around them.
Now they are leaving my universe. It is all as it should be, but on this day — S's 19th birthday, the last year of my youngest child's years as a teenager — I am feeling just a little adrift. I will find my own orbit, of course, just as they will find theirs. And the orbits will intertwine at different points than in our past, as we create different paths as a family, as siblings, as individuals. I wonder what the stars will bring.
All I will add to the beautiful sentiments my mom shares today is this: May your day be happy, S. May it feel festive and may you know you are loved (you are, endlessly). And know, that though we are all dispersed around the country, we are all celebrating you today, we are all making note of the incredible fortune we have in knowing you. Though a man in every sense now, it feels appropriate to quote John Lennon: you are a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy. I love you.